Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
i think im in europe. pls send help
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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