Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
