Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
