Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
