ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize