i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
