Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
