Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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