It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
