grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
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