He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
