i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
