What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Randomize
