omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
