i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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