Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize