My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
