You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
ugly people sure do ruin things
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
