Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
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