i was born a porn star she said
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize