he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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