hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
