sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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