I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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