He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
