Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
