i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
