she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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