She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
