just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
