just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
