dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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