I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
