GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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