either way he was missing a nipple.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
We had sex on a dog bed..
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Randomize