im six kinds of drunk right now
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize
