shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
