When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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