I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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