Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Randomize