Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
