so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize