you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Is it penis luge time yet?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
