its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
