we have pet lesbian snakes
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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