what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
