my soul wont recognize me after tonight
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize