i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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