Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
