You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
And Iām prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
