he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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