I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
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