My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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