So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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